Chapter Text
“Raidou, hold on! Don’t you dare f*cking die on me!” someone hissed softly into the night as they flew past the ground below.
His head was spinning. His vision had spots. His head was foggy and he could barely remember his name.
(Was his name Raidou? Why did that feel- wrong? But also right?)
There was the bitter taste of copper in his mouth and something oddly sweet. It was an odd combination and he had the sudden urge to complain about whatever he ate because it was something that shouldn’t ever exist.
(Wait, did he eat it willingly? Or not?)
He just couldn’t even remember what happened, but he knew he did something f*cking stupid and his… teammate- (No, that wasn’t right. Was he a friend? Or partner? Or maybe something more? Ugh. Thinking about it just made the pounding even worse) was going to stab him several times before strangling his body, and then drag his spirit back from the Pure Land to tear into him all over again.
Why did he have an awful feeling that if he did survive this, he also wouldn’t. He probably would have to go to the hospital if he did survive this… He couldn’t remember why, but the idea of going to the hospital sent shivers down his spine. There was a sudden flash image of a loud crash filled and… green? Lots and lots of green.
He was seeing a lot of green and it just made him feel even more sick.
He bit his tongue to withhold from groaning. His instincts were telling him that it was a bad idea and throwing up on his teammate would probably make him even more angrier than he already was. And that was a big no no.
But also, the green. The green.
He was about to open his mouth to thank his teammate for dealing with his idiocy (since that was obviously the polite and right thing to do, especially since a warning that he might hurl any second would be a good thing), but the dizziness hit and everything began to blur together.
Then, it hit him.
Oh. He had poison in his system, he vaguely realized and felt quite dumb, before passing out.
He felt cold and hungry. He was scared.
(What was his name? He couldn’t remember, as if there was a fog obscuring it. WhatwashisnameWhatwashisname? He couldn’t remember and wanted to throw up)
He couldn’t help wonder why his parents had to die in a car crash and whether they even loved him in the first place. He was probably a mistake, right? After all, he was a freak and strange.
(Didn’t he have a family that loved him? A family that he mourned after he lost them to the Shinobi War-)
He was a child hidden away and unwanted. That’s all he was…
(He thought of a blond haired boy, whose father he swore to follow. A boy who was suffering just like he once did. He felt sick all over again and finally understood why he felt so horrible watching over him. He wasn’t doing enough, and now the bright boy was suffering like he once was)
He curled into himself and waited. And waited and waited and waited.
His stomach growled, but he waited even more. Not yet- Not yet- He had to wait for the right moment. Notyetnotyetnotyet-
Then the scene swirled away into darkness and he was alone again.
…
There was a flash of light and someone reaching out to him. They were giving him kindness and answers that he so desperately needed. They were giving something back to him that he never knew he was missing in the first place.
They were giving him hope and love. He was confused, but excited. He was looking forward to what was happening next and knew it was the best birthday ever.
He could see a blurry large figure holding an umbrella and couldn’t help, but have a huge smile. He knew this person. He was a friend both loyal and kind and- and-
He missed him.
Blurry colors swirled and he was alone again, but smiling.
…
There was a blond child next to him, trying on some strange robes.
(Why robes? Why wasn’t it mesh armor or something more traditional, like a kimono? Even a cloak felt more sense than the robes)
He was talking about your friend and it was making you upset.You didn’t like it and couldn’t understand why he would say such things. There were a lot of things you didn’t understand, but his arrogance rubbed you the wrong way.
The lonely child couldn’t help but think this as his hands clenched in frustration. There was a flash image of the large man holding him gently, crying softly. There was a bitter taste in his mouth as he thought about the large figure and couldn’t help but think friend tinged with regrets.
The boy with glasses watched the blond boy as his figure began to blur over. The colors began to twist and turn, as if in a dance, before being replaced by a blonde older man. No, not a man. He was a young teen yet still a child, he thought. He was a beloved child to his parents, but arrogance would tear his family down and only ruins would be left in its wake. The boy knew that for a fact.
He didn’t like the arrogant blond child or teen, but despite his dislike, he couldn’t help but feel pity. He knew the blond would hate the pity more than anything, but he couldn’t help it. He compared the arrogant boy to a scared teenager and just felt sorry for him.
The young boy was enveloped in darkness as the blond hair faded away.
…
He watched as a young boy with ginger red hair smiled and laughed with him. He was a friend… no, his best friend and there was a gaping hole in his heart because he missed this red haired boy.
In the compartment, a girl with bushy brown hair entered followed by a meeker boy. The girl and red haired boy began to bicker and he began to have a wide smile.
She was also his best friend. They were a trio and they were finally together again. Both would follow him to the end of the world, he knew in his gut.
(Was that why being in a trio team always felt so right and how having a partner that would always have his back felt so reassuring ?)
The nervous boy watched the scene, looking a bit unsure.
The boy with glasses thought loyalty and bravery when he looked at this terrified boy. Colors swirled as he was replaced by an older man. It was a man that stood tall and was holding a glistening sword in his hand. He was holding the sword to the sky with determination burning in his eyes.
The scarred man turned to him with a smile, before vanishing in a blink.
The boy blinked again and his two best friends were replaced by adults. They were giving him a reassuring smile.
“We go wherever you go, mate,” the red haired man said and the woman nodded with a smile. They were both so confident in their decision.
Tears stung his eyes and he wanted to scream at them about how reckless they were being. He didn’t want to risk losing them. But- But… he also felt so thankful he wasn’t alone in his heavy burden to carry. He loved them both.
Despite their childish fights and disagreements, he knew they would follow him to whatever craziness and recklessness he dragged them into. He felt a pang of longing to see both of them again and hold them both. He just wanted to tell them how much they meant to him one more time.
“We both love you, *****!” they said in unison with a huge smile on their faces.
The colors twirled and swirled again, but as the compartment faded away, the boy’s eyes were stuck on their smiles.
...
The young boy with glasses was now in a forest. He tilted his head in confusion.
Was this the Forest of Death? No, that wasn’t right. He was confusing the forest with something else…
He had an image flash in his head of a white bearded man with glasses talking before many students. He was warning them about something…
Then the boy remembered the name of this forest. It was the Forbidden Forest. That’s where he was and he has been here many times before.
The boy sat down and waited. He knew it was waiting for something.
As he stood in the clearing, four animals finally emerged from the shadows. It was a stag, doe, dog, and wolf.
The boy sat, frozen. The doe walked over to him and gently nudged him towards the group of animals. Like a newly born fawn, the boy shakily walked over to the other animals.
The black dog bounded towards him with his tail wagging. He licked the boy happily. The stag gently nudged him in the face. The wolf slowly walked over and circled the boy, before sitting beside him. The doe watched them all with loving eyes.
With all these animals, he felt safe.
“Padfoot, Prongs, and Moony,” the boy murmured with a smile, before blinking in confusion. He blinked several times as he looked from the dog and wolf to the stag and doe. Their names were-!
“Sirius and Remus were my godfather and my professor. James and Lily were my mom and dad,” the boy said softly, filled with awe as he suddenly remembered. The animals shifted into humans with kind smiles and loving eyes.
Tears stung his eyes. He missed them all and though he couldn’t remember everything clearly, he knew they all died for him.
The boy opened his mouth to apologize for everything, but his godfather gently ruffled his hair.
“Don’t apologize for anything, Prongslet. We love you and we are always watching over you. Forever, no matter what and who you are,” Sirius said with a smile, before winking. “Make sure the Marauder’s name is never forgotten!”
Professor Lupin stood by him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I died for a better world, protecting both you and my son. I have no regrets,” the Professor said confidently with a reassuring smile.
An image flashed in his head of a young baby with color changing hair and he thought I was supposed to watch over him for you. The boy tried to open his mouth to apologize, but Professor Lupin shook his head. The Professor gave him a gentle pat on his head, silently saying there was no need to apologize and how he was happy to see him again.
The boy watched the Professor step away in confusion because he couldn’t understand how easily the Professor forgave him, when the boy knew he failed both the Professor and his son.
Another person hugged him tightly from behind and something wet fell on his cheek. The boy looked up to see his mother quietly crying as she hugged him tightly. The boy knew he should say something, but his mouth wouldn’t move. Someone else hugged tightly and the boy looked up to see his dad looking at him proudly with teary eyes.
“We both love you so much,” his father said with a wide grin, before hugging both him and his mother tightly. “We- we are both so proud of you, no matter what.”
The boy opened his mouth to refute his father’s words. It made him sick. His parents shouldn’t be proud of him. He was an assassin and a murderer.He didn’t deserve their love or pride. He also had another family, so wasn’t he betraying them as well, as their son?
As if reading his mind, his mother shook her head, before gently cupping the boy’s face.
“We love you and you are our son, and that’s all that matters,” she whispered fiercely. She gently kissed his forehead and gave a huge smile. “Live, *****, live. Live your life to the fullest and know that Mom and Dad are always watching over you. Find love and happiness because that’s all I wanted for you.”
His mother gave him one last kiss and his father gave another hug, before both stepped away. The entire group of adults were smiling at him with so much affection and love. The boy couldn’t understand why they all loved him so much that they were willing to die for him and did die for him.
The boy reached out towards them, but the forest swirled around him and they all vanished.
…
He was alone in a shack. The boy looked around in confusion to see a snake staring at him. The snake’s eyes were unreadable as it watched the boy’s every movement.
The boy slowly stepped towards the snake and the snake shifted to a doe. He blinked in confusion, before the doe shifted into a man with a hooked nose and shoulder length black hair.
The two stared at each other in silence.
The boy’s mouth opened to say things before he could think.
“Thank you for everything, Professor Snape. I am sorry for everything,” the boy said, but also couldn’t understand why he felt so thankful and guilty.
The man wrinkled his nose before looking away.
“I didn’t do it for you, ******. I did it for Lily and the Headmaster. Also, the snake was able to die because of you. That's good enough for me,” the man, Snape, said curtly.
The boy opened his mouth, but the colors swirled around him before he could say anything else.
…
He was now in a train station.
(Trains didn’t exist, but he knew what they were. This was making his brain hurt)
Nearby, the boy could see a sign that was 9 ¾. Other than that, the train station was empty except for him and a mirror.
Looking around, the boy hesitantly walked towards the mirror. In the glass though, he couldn’t see his reflection. Instead, he saw an entire group of people.
There was a woman with color changing hair holding a baby. There was an entire family of redheads, all laughing and smiling. The mother and father looked at their family full of love. There were two twins laughing and teasing one sibling with glasses and another that was very tanned. There was a blonde girl wearing strange glasses and holding a magazine upside down. A redhead girl smiled and laughed with the blonde. There was a beautiful woman with blonde hair, kissing a scarred redhead. There were two boys, both that had their cameras. There was an asian girl talking and grinning with a boy with dark hair.
The boy blinked as more and more people began to walk and join the crowd in the mirror. There was a man with a swirling eye and another tall black wizard. There was an older woman with glasses with a stern look in her eyes, but seemed like she was enjoying herself. More adults and students joined the group, and all seemed to be happy together.
Then, they all looked and smiled at him. Then, the image slowly began to fade away.
The boy blinked in confusion. Now, he was seeing his reflection. The boy looked at his face wearily. He had messy black hair with bright green eyes. He had glasses and a thunderbolt scar.
It felt right, but also not.
Then, the image faded into an older version of himself. He blinked in confusion, before looking down at himself.
He once was a boy, but now he was a man. His clothes also changed. From robes, it was now a more practical outfit. He also knew in his gut that they were the last pair of clothes he wore.
“Strange, isn’t it?” someone said behind him.
The man spun around to see an old man with twinkling eyes. The old man looking at him with both so much pride and regrets.
He knew exactly who he was.
“Professor Dumbledore…” the man murmured.
The old man smiled at him fondly, “That’s right, my boy. Come and walk with me.”
The Professor began to walk away and the man quickly followed. The old man’s footsteps echoed loudly in the station, while the man moved in a way that it made no sounds.
“Professor, what happened?” the man asked. “Who am I?”
“You are who you are,” Professor Dumbledore replied cryptically. The man sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation.
“I mean, what happened? I know you… and I knew all of those people… but how? Who am I? Or, who was I?” the man asked.
The Professor stopped, before looking at the man.“I can’t tell you. You must remember for yourself,” Professor Dumbledore replied. The man grimaced, before sighing. Go figures.
Professor Dumbledore looked around the station and at the mist in the distance. He had a distant look in his eyes.
“I wish you were able to continue living, but Death didn’t give you a choice. You were able to return to defeat him, but Death wanted you to board the train. So that’s what happened. I’m afraid that’s also all I can tell you. You must remember for yourself. There are things you must do, and you cannot run away from it. You must face it head on. It may be difficult and confusing, but you can do it. But, despite that, also live for the life you couldn’t live before, *****.”
Professor Dumbledore then looked at him with a sad smile.“Look in the mirror again. This isn’t the only part of it. Remember the other things you care about. Good luck, my boy.”
With those final parting words, Professor Dumbledore walked into the mist before vanishing.
The man was left alone once more. With no other hints, he returned to the mirror.
There was no reflection, but, instead, there was a blond man standing tall. He looked like a leader that people looked up to. Something in the man’s gut told him I was willing to follow him to the end. The blond man then laughed as a beautiful red-haired woman holding a blond baby joined him. She smiled at him, and they looked happy together.
There was a heavy weight in his stomach as the fog in his head finally cleared.
That was the Yondaime and his wife. There was baby Naruto who was so alone now, but he was forbidden to reach out, like so many others. He could only watch from afar with so many other jounins, but unable to actually do much. Their hands were tied, whether it was the law, memories, bitterness, politics, or grief.
There was a bitter taste in his mouth. It was guilt. He should have done more since he understands how Naruto feels.
The image faded away to a family with brown hair. The mother was tired with a strong look in her eyes, but the adoring look on her face at her family made her seem radiant. The father had a scar on his cheek with a huge grin and fondly kissed his wife on the cheek.
(We’re matching now, he recalls his father joking when he came back from one of his early missions)
They were holding a little boy with a mischievous look in his eyes and they were all smiling at him.
Tears stung his eyes.
(He missed his parents and his brother. Whether from the war or the Kyuubi attack, he lost them all. Why didn’t he treasure those moments together more?)
The image faded away to see an entire group of ninjas. Their names flew in his brain as he watched them all joke together and have fun.
Gai, Anko, Iruka, Kurenai, Asuma, Kakashi, Aoba, Hayate, Yugao, Ibiki, Shukaku, Choza, Inoichi, and more.
Some were dear to his heart and others were his comrades that went through hell and back together. They were all a part of Konoha and they all fought together to protect their home.
Tears stung his eyes, before the image faded away in the mirror.
A new image appeared with a man wearing a bandana and had a senbon in his mouth. He had an exasperated look on his face, as if saying, “Seriously, you forgot about me? What am I going to do with you?”
He couldn’t help but laugh fondly with a snort. Genma was the one getting into more trouble on a daily basis. There was a fond smile on his face and something inside him relaxed. If he had Genma by his side, things would work out. They were partners, after all.
The image faded away and his reflection appeared. There was a ripple in the reflection, before the young man with messy black hair and bright green eyes was replaced by an older man with spiky brown hair. The most distinct part of his appearance was the scar from his nose to his cheek, almost like cracks.
As if something slammed into his head, he finally remembered his name. It was Raidou. Namiashi Raidou.
Raidou looked down to see his appearance changed again. He was now wearing standard Konoha gear. His hands, which were once soft, now had calluses and scarred. It was proof that he lived through a war and how he was a soldier for the Leaf. He was a shinobi that was a bodyguard for the Sandaime.
Raidou closed his eyes. This entire experience was as if he was retracing the fragmented pieces of another life. It was distant, but not completely forgotten. It felt more and more familiar as he rewalked it. It was a life full of people who loved him and died for him. It was a life that had many hardships that he both loved people and lost them. He fought for them and protected them.
He died for them.
They also died for him. They died for a name he could no longer even remember. It was on the tip of his tongue, but everytime he tried to grasp it, it would slip through his fingers.
Who was he before he was Raidou?
His shinobi instincts were telling him to be wary, especially with the cryptic warning Professor Dumbledore gave him. Something big was going to happen and it seemed like he was about to be dragged into the thick of it.
“Time's up,” a raspy voice said behind him.
Raidou spun around to see a cloaked figure. His mouth felt dry and his body tensed. He immediately knew who that figure was.
“Death,” Raidou said curtly. He eyed him warily.
Death stood there, silently watching him.
“It is time for you to reawaken. Remember who you are and who you once are. Remember it, Man-Who-Conquered. Remember your name, Master of Death.”
The train station began to fade away as the darkness enveloped everything. Raidou tensed, before he was plunged into darkness.
Namiashi Raidou was a loyal soldier of the Leaf. If killing others meant he could protect his home and those precious in it, he would do so. Despite the horrors of the war and losing people he cared about (his father, who always had a smile on his face, and his mother who couldn’t cope with the stress and grief), he fought for the hopes of a better future. He killed in hopes that this war would end so children wouldn’t have to keep dying.
He was willing to die for Konoha, but couldn’t find a reason to live either.
Then, he found a man who shined like a light and, like many, swore to follow him. He was their Hokage and their leader. He was the hope for peace and a brighter future. Namikaze Minato was the perfect fit to lead them to better days.
In the shadows of ANBU, he also met Genma and they were able to become closer friends. Despite Genma and himself working in different roles, with Genma being the Hokage’s bodyguard and himself still working in the squads, the two tokubetsu jounins got along really well. And to their surprise, they actually worked together really well during their first mission together. It was as if something clicked together.
Needless to say, Raidou was immediately shifted from his squad to one of the Hokage’s bodyguards. He felt like he was peering a bit into a family, with how much Genma, Kakashi, Minato, and Kushina got along like a house on fire.
He felt like he found a reason to actually live for himself. Maybe this was where he belonged.
Then Minato died and it felt like everything was falling apart. Someone he swore to follow was killed. He swore to protect Minato and failed to do so.
Kakashi, unable to cope with his grief, then vanished into the darkest shadows of ANBU. Raidou felt like he was falling apart, especially with both of his old Genin teammates away from the village.
Raidou lost his leader and his family. He was alone.
Somehow, Genma, who was much closer to Minato and Kushina because they treated him like family was able to cope with his grief much better. He was able to drag Raidou for the pits of darkness and shoved him at other jounins to nail it into his head that he has not lost everything. That there were still people to live for and fight for.
Like little Naruto, or the other clan heads’ children. There were many orphans, which was why rebuilding was even more important than ever. And he wasn’t alone, because Genma was still by his side.
They were more than friends. They were partners who had each other’s backs and that was that.
Raidou was going to stick by his partner’s side no matter what and protect him. That means even occasionally taking stupid hits for the other because he didn’t want to lose Genma too.
Namiashi Raidou was lying on the bed as medics fussed over his (very critical) wounds while removing the poison from his system. Some of his friends stood by anxiously since they knew how close to death Raidou was because his heart actually stopped and Raidou was actually dead for a few horrifying moments.
It was a miracle he was alive now. Now, they could only watch in silent anxiety.
Namiashi Raidou’s eyes snapped open. He remembered everything. His head felt the clearest than it ever has been before.
He remembered his name. His name was Harry Potter.
He was Harry Potter, wizard and Saviour of the Wizarding World, but he was also Namiashi Raidou, Shinobi of the Leaf and bodyguard of the Hokage.
He reincarnated and now he remembers everything.
f*ck his life. Fate must honestly hate him or something.
